Am i evil? wat should i do about it? 10 pts for best answer?

i think i have a serious problem on my hands.You see all through my life i have just about been done in and betrayed by almost everyone i know.Half of my friends (and i had alot of firends) turned against me for stupid and unknown reasons.I've had people talk about me like a dog,call me names and find it funny.They don't even care that they are hurting me and screwing up my self-esteem.I hate my family,all i can ever think about is turning 18 and moving out,they always make me feel guilty about stuff that isn't even my fault.And on top of that i am constantly upset everytime i'm around them.And don't even get me started on school life,it's a total disaster! i mean it just seems like everyone has a problem with me and doesn't like me for some reason.Then they make it their goal to make my life hell,till i finally snap and cuss em out,and i've had to do that alot.And as life goes on i get these visions of punching my family members,maybe putting a curse on my enemies (i've tried spells) i've even prayed to Jesus to give me powers like his to smite the people who have turned against me.But he's yet to do it,and i don't think he will.I mean i use to be a really sweet nice person,but people just screweed me over and took me for a ride.I hate ALOT and i've stopped trying to use spells but i can't help thinking about how funny it would be if i saw every single one of the people who make fun of me or turn against me suffer.The kind of suffering that comes from having your feet cut off,or your mouth sewn shut.I've tried voo doo,witchcraft,jesus,everything.And i don't think i'll be happy until every single one of my enemies falls,I just wish i had some kind of power over them,to cause them horror and what not,it's only fair they suffer.And i'm completely serious btw,i can't keep thinking like this cuz i know once i die i'm not getting into heaven.I've asked god to change my heart,but it seems like everytime i seem to be doing better somebody else gets in my face,am i evil? wat am i supposed to do?and you guys please don't judge me,i've been through alot,i've been shunned,betrayed,hated, by family and friends.i can't stand it i feel like crap,i just feel like if somehting isn't done i might end up doing soemthing horrible.I depend on the bible alot to guide me through problems but..it just seems like it's fruitless,and i am so tired of people having problems with me,and i'm tired of people putting my name in their mouths.I'm sick of their petty bull and i want it to stop.That's the whole reason i tried all those unholy things...i don't know wat else to do,how can i get rid of this evil in my heart?