Why won't my lenders modify my mortgage unless I start to fall late and go into foreclosure?

This is like waiting to have a heart attack before giving mediciation if your cholesterol is up. I am struggling to make ends meet and need to have my high interest loans desperastely modified. My lenders are Countrywide and Citimortgage. They said the only thing they can do is defer my loans for 3 months after which time it is all due (how would I have a lump sum at teh end of 3 months?). The other option is if I miss several payments, my credit is screwed and they start foreclosure proceedings, then they can 'really' help What gives?